Black X-Rated Television

I think directors Corey and Dale Jordan intended this to be a type of "Inside Edition" meets big ass black girls, but from the opening scene, that portion of the film goes wacko.

Starring: Pebbles, Cashmere, Kiwi, Caramel, Carmen Jones, Byron Long, Weed, Guy DiSilva
Directors: The Jordan Bros.
Company: Video TEam
Year Filmed: 2002
Themes: Black girls, big butts, big breasts, anal sex, facials, condoms, DP
Run Time: 89 minutes
Rating: 3.1 out of 5
Extras: Buy VOD version; See DiVX version; Buy DVD version

The beautiful light-skinned, long-legged, thick assed Carmen Jones greets us and tells us she's going to be hosting "Black X-Rated TV." We get some cool tease shots before the Jordan brothers begin talking off camera, making her giggle and telling her she's "fine as a muthafucka."

Anyway, we see Carmen working a ripe banana before she goes "live" again to interview Julian St. Jox. Typical questions?: "You play any sports?" "What are your hobbies?" and "What are some of your favorite positions in sex?"

Aw, hell guys, let's just get to the banging already. Here's another film that just should've been a gonzo.

After one of the most boring interviews we've seen since Barbara Walters went one-on-one with Roseanne, Julian and Carmen finally get to the getting.

Julian uses his fingers -- something frequently forgotten about in modern porn -- to good effect before diving in and getting Carmen off with a mega-sized muff dive session. Her oral skills aren't quite as refined, but when Julian begins to pump into her in cowgirl, with the Jordans making sure to give us a wide view of her pretty wide ass, well, you won't care.

Carmen -- who reminds me of Playboy TV's Crystal Knight -- claims she just woke up one day recently and was blessed with a world class ass. Maybe. We're just glad it bounces. After banging her with condom in tow, Julian removes it and powers a load on her face.

Our next host is Cashmere (and please stop me before I comment on the Barbie dollhouse looking microphones these girls are holding).

Cashmere is tall, slender, dark and absolutely gorgeous. Byron Long is a much better interview than Julian and this one is actually somewhat entertaining.

Now, Mrs. Web, who happened by as I was reviewing this film, wasn't so sure that Cashmere, who is built like a taller Heather Hunter, was going to handle Byron, who's got a dick that starred as a serpent in "Anaconda" with Jennifer Lopez.

But give the girl credit. She hopped right on in cowgirl and banged ALL the way down. She wears Byron out in multiple cowgirl positions and takes a nasty doggy style while lying on the grass before tearing Byron's condom off and catching a full-fledged facial. Good for her.

Our next hostess is Adina Jewel, aka Pebbles. She's one of the best fucks in the biz and may be the top performing black star going, ready to follow in the void left by stars like Janet Jacme and Sinnamon who are older and on the verge of retiring.

Before giving Weed a blowjob to remember and some doggy style sex that will have you searching for your lotion, Pebbles does an interview and some better tease, working this heart-shaped red lollipop so well you'll wish it was your johnson.

The doggy style sex is amazing with Pebbles' perfectly round rump bouncing east and west with every thrust from Weed, who gets points for not cumming early from such an assault. This is easily the best scene of the film.

Our next hostess, big-breasted Kiwi looks amazing in a blue dress that is held together only by some lace running up the sides. She does the idiot interview thing with Guy DiSilva, who eventually gets to sample Kiwi's fruits after a weak blowjob effort from her.

It's tough to follow a Pebbles scene but this one seems a bit devoid of real heat. The two kind of go through the motions, almost as if they've told each other, "Let's make sure we get through at least four positions before the end."

Caramel pops up next, post boob-job and shows off her "how-in-the-hell-is-her-waist-so-small-and-her-ass-so-big" body. She talks with Weed and Byron for a few minutes before she's got both of their dicks in either hand, taking turns sucking them.

Next she's taking doggy from Long while blowing Weed. Wait, now she's riding the hell out of Weed, groaning and moaning like she's known for, in reverse cowgirl. She's takes some wicked anal and a good DP, too. And what a facial she takes from the guys, sucking and fucking them well past sensitivity time.

All 2-on-1 scenes should be this hot. It's not quite up to the Pebbles level, but it's a nice scene to a pretty decent film, if you forgive the boring plotline.