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Freaks, Whoes and Floes I

Starring: Jake Steed
Director: Jake Steed
Themes: big butts,
real tits, anal sex, lots of doggy style
Rating: 9.0 out of 10
Reviewed by: Ev Daviduk (delivered Aug. 20, 1999)
The video begins with a
Jake Steed track playin' in the back. Oh judoknow? Jake Steed brings the
lyrics too. That's right - adult film star, and lyricist on the side.
Alright, so it begins with a Jake Steed tune playin' in the background, and
some quick footage of what's to expect in the next 2 hours of film or so
(the honies, Jake, etc). It looks to be based in Hollywood (i.e. - the
"Walk of Fame", palm trees, more honies). * Side note: as I write
this video review, the brand new video "B Please" from Xzibit and
Snoop is playin' the back. The video's hype! Alright, let's do this.
Scene 1: Jake pulls up to a sweetheart latenight walking through the
nearly-deserted parking lot of a Macy's department store. Her name's EBONY,
and her and Jake appear to go way back. Thus, even if it's all acting, you
have a good premonition that there'll be a positive vibe between the two of
them, and everyone knows Jake - he's always with the fly women. Word up. He
plans on taking her back to his motel room, and he entices with some bud and
brew. Once inside the motel room, she takes a few hits of the good ol' weed,
and asks him flat-out "you wanna hit it?". You almost feel like
volunteering from behind your tv screen like "me? For sure!" LoL.
But you know the deal though - Jake wants to hit something else. She's
beautiful. With a nice, lean body & a navel piercing. She undresses, and
they both lay back on the bed (all the while Jake's still in full gear -
shoes, pants, top, etc). She unzips him and goes to work on his tool. Man o'
man, I'll say it again - she is B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L. You could almost say
model-like. Still on top, she decides it's about time she take a ride on the
bologna-pony (pronounced "balonee ponee"). If you're a fan of firm
posteriors, then Ebony is your dream woman. She rides for a few minutes,
then she lays back and lets Jake do his thing, regular-style you could say.
Then it's time for everyone & their momma's favorite position: doGGy-style
(with Ebony laying stomach down, booty up).
Scene 2: Now we find Jake and a good friend in New York - they represent
both coasts - the West, the East, it's all g00d. Ain't no thing! Soon
thereafter we're led to a room in which 2 exotic dancers are strutting their
thang$ house-party style. You hear people in the background, primarily men,
you know - partying and whatnot. It's all un-choreographed and real (along
the lines of bachelor party videos, and Spring Break style videos which can
be purchased online). No complaints here really, just get on with the sexin'!
LoL. Here we go - a little blowjob action follows, then a little doGGy-style.
The darker-skinned of the two dancers calls out "Fu*k me, Fu*k me
muthafuc*a ..." as she's being sexed from the back. One word: freaky.
But it's all good. Then soon after the same dancer's asking for $ from the
people at the party, as her and the other dancer'll do a quick girl-girl
soon immediately to follow. It's rather tame, and I'm not much a fan of
girl-girls, so I fast-forwarded. Plus, it only lasts a mere 2 minutes or so.
Then the scene seems to switch completely, and Jake and one of the dancers
is back in the motel room. She's dressed in a sexy lil' pink number, and you
can tell she wants to get it on - which is good - cuz' she has a nice long
tongue, and I'm looking forward to seeing her work that tongue, ya' dig. 2
minutes of oral satisfaction follow, then flatback-style with her legs
kicked up shoulder-high. Then on her side they sex, Jake behind her on his
knees, then some doggystyle. She's the expressive-type (cursin', contorting
her face, laughin' it up). Then Jake lays back with her on top, and a $ shot
to wrap things up. With jizz dripping from her bottom lip, she towels off
and that's that. Quite a fun scene here, no complaints.
Scene 3: Jake's back in his ride, straight cruisin' the town. Then we find
Jake knocking at the door of the 2nd dancer (who was from a scene or two
back, and was half of the girl-girl session). 2 thick women are in the house
now. The second one, who we've yet to meet is in the back room and has a
B-I-G booty. Some ball-licking ensues, then some stand-up doggy, then before
you know it the scene's over. This scene lacks any real chemistry between
the actress n' actor.
Scene 4: We're led into scene numero quatre with a well-known phrase coming
across the screen ... "Goin' Goin' ...back back .... to Cali' Cali'
". No doubt. Jake's cruising in his ride again, a Cadillac, time time
with another B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L female companion. So far, she is definitely
the PRETTIEST of the entire tape. Very pretty. Back to the motel, and by
this time Jake's got a big-a$$ grin on his face (and rightfully so). They
kneel on the bed for a second, and then undress. She looks G-O-O-D, and I
capitalize all letters of the word, both in and out of her form-fitting blue
jeans. Plus, she looks great giving fellatio. It's basically the type of
scene in which you pay close attention, and try not to blink, as you're
glued to her beauty. The kitty-kat looks good too; forget the licking,
Jake's right up in it. Go on wit' your bad self Jake! Your regular positions
are soon to follow (on the back, reverse cowgirl, etc). Then Jake has the
pleasure of releasing a monster load on her pretty face. * I sure hope to
see her in future films. I'm not sure of her name, but I believe one quick
check of Jake's official website, would reveal the answer. She is BEAUTIFUL,
without question.
Scene 5: It's a short one, with Jake and another female back at another
place. Ain't no sex here, just fellatio. It's just too short to review
really, 'nuf said.
Scene 6: Then we have a Caucasian cutie and Jake with a quick 10-minute
scene. Nothin' special really.
Scene 7: Then we have one of my very personal favorite starlets, Mocha
(looking as good as ever, I might add). Some fellatio ensues, then some
stand-up sexing, then some backdoor bent over the bathtub (HOT!). Then as
soon as Mocha's done toweling up after her scene with Jake, in comes the
main man behind the "Black Street Hookers" series, TT Boy. Some
more fellatio (Mocha & TT), stand-up sexing (with Mocha's right leg
kicked up on TT's left shoulder) and another $ shot.
* Overall the hottest scene of the film was the one just mentioned, with
both the Mocha/Jake and Mocha/TT Boy pairings. And the most beautiful woman
of the tape would be the unknown woman from scene #4. Very good film
overall, and keep checking for Jake's series "Freaks, Whoes &
Floes". http://www.jakesteed.com is the official website, and support
Jake, as he's doing his thing with each and every volume.
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