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CHOCOLATE
SWERVE
(Snatch
Productions)
Starring: Solveig, Mr.
Marcus, Obsession, Janet Jacme, Gino, Julian St. Jox
Director: NA
Themes: lap dancing,
stripping, tease, big butts, anal sex, oral sex.
Rating: 10 out of 10
MR. WEB REVIEW'S
REVIEW:
This is one of the
most basic forms of porn: women enters a room, strips for man, fucks him,
but it's also one of the hottest, at least here. This film, loosely based
on the Pussyman genre, sticks three of the finest black women ever caught
on porn celluloid in three real-life situations and dares you not to reach
below your navel.
It's one of the
hottest films ever in porn. Forget plot, forget direction, forget special
effects and freaky camera angles. This is just hot porn, unmitigated and
unexpurgated.
We open with Janet
Jacme, looking as good as she's ever looked (and that's saying something
for one of the best-looking and hottest performers in history). She's
wearing a shiny silver bathing suit that seems to fit so well it was
tailor made. She walks in on Marcus, who's playing pool and teases him by
bending over showing a g-string going up her perfectly proportioned ass.
The rapper Treach of
Naughty By Nature once rapped, "Put me on a planet, dammit, where all
the women look Janet." He was talking about the gorgeous Janet
Jackson, the popular singer (who has a fabulous ass by the way), but he
could've just as easily been talking about Jacme, who's porn persona --
long hair, long eyebrows, cute shape -- are loosely based on Jackson's.
Janet Jacme really
pours on the tease her, playing pool but doing a good job acting the part
of the "I want it now" girl. She and Marcus play strip pool, and
Jacme -- lucky for us -- quickly loses. Watching her squat, butt-naked,
over a pool table and offer her ass to Marcus (it looks like a big carmel-covered
apple) is a visual treat that any porn paradour should allow himself to
have just once.
The sex starts with
Jacme's ass above the pool table as she stands, and she' s athletic enough
to stick her head underneath, in a full stretch, while taking (that's good
enough for an AVN award alone). Marcus delivers the meat with aplomb,
firing away on The Best Ass Ever In Porn and Ms. Jacme takes everything he
has.
They get into many
positions, including cowgirl, where Jacme shows all the other porn
starlets out there who try to act hot how to really do it. Some girls have
talent, like basketball players, and others work hard and put in effort to
go with the talent. That's what made Michael Jordan the best basketball
player ever and what makes Janet Jacme the best sexual performer ever.
This may come as a
shock to some of you who haven't seen black porn or live and die by
anything blond-haired and blue-eyed (however much dyed or contact lensed)
but the simple truth is, and this scene shows it well, that Jacme is
better than Vanessa Del Rio, better than Ginger Lynn, better than another
little-known should've been huge star, Nina DePonca and better than Nina
Hartey.
When she goes after
Marcus' rod, it's like a woman who is in love and hasn't seen her man for
months. She gives him a sloppy blowjob and takes some more wood. The scene
goes on for more than 30 minutes with no loops and no loss of interest
from the viewer. Really, guys, porn doesn't get any better than this.
Next up with Jacme's
old boyfriend, Julian St. Jox, who discovered the former Chicago
hairdresser and brought her to California.
He's waiting around
for Pussyman to come back from a trip. In walks Obsession, and we get that
great "from-behind" view of the light-skinned lovely with all
those ass cheeks spilling out either side of her shorts which are way, way
too small (good for us).
See, Obsession wants
to show Pussyman what she's got, and in his absence, well, she'll show St.
Jox, since he's a close personal friend, right?
Of course. This is
porn.
So Obsession, flat
chested but wonderfully blessed below the waist with perfect legs and ass,
does a dance for St. Jox, better than most you'd pay $30 for at the club.
The camera catches all of this well.
Obsession teases St.
Jox before finally offering him her tasty twat/treat and he laps it up
like a cat going for milk. This obviously has an effect on Obsession as
her long pink nipples instantly shoot to attention (quick break: ever
notice how whenever a woman is flat-chested, a lot of times she's got a
great ass and great legs; almost as if the Big Man Upstairs was trying to
make up for the lack of one area by improving another? And ever notice how
flat-chested women, sometimes, have, like the best, most suckable nips?
See Stephanie Swift. See Honey Love from Black panty chronicles series;
See Bionca; See Viper).
Now back to your
review: St. Jox and Obsession get into a variety of positions, especially
lovely is the rear penetration which allows Obsessions' soft-looking
bottom to pound St. Jox's pelvis (this is the best position in sex; trust
us).
Our final scene
involves Solveig, who in our eyes in an Obsession look-alike in body color
and body type (long legs, great ass, small chest, hot attitude), but gets
pounded by some fans as being undesirable, and Geno, a man with a
painfully small peter.
Geno gets treated to
one helluva strip show and lap dance by Solveig, who rides all over his
lap with her black shorted ass. She teases so well, and obviously has done
a lot of dance work, moving with a snake's rhythm while making sure to
show off all her body parts, sloooooowwwwwlllly.
Geno, even making this
movie, is obviously turned on by all this but after he laps her up well
and she pulls him out, he's got what can't be much more than 3.5 inches on
hard. You almost feel sorry for him when he keeps slipping out, during the
cowgirl portion of his scene, but then you remember it only takes 2 inches
or so to hit the woman's love spot and Solveig, a porn pro, seems to be
enjoying his porking, plus he's in the scene and you're just watching
stupid.
She rides him like a
bucking bull, then spins for some hot rear penetration, and when he
finally hits his pop shot and the credits roll, you realize that for a
simple film, with just three scenes, you've seen something close to porn
perfection.
Put this in the
classic file, and tell your friends about it.
opyright July 1999
© Mr. Web Review
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