I have been
going to the CES show since 1988. I was 20
years old. I didn't know I had to be 21 to
do stuff in Vegas or attend the show. Not
because of the naked women around, hell most
of the girls were 18. I didn't know booze
was in the hall and about the gambling laws.
I worked at a video store as a manager (the
youngest I might add) and it was my job to
order the adult videos. No one else in the
store wanted the duty and I already had made
a name for myself for knowing adult titles,
talent & companies and seemed to have found
my niche in life.
I had always talked to the adult
companies to order titles and made some
friends over the phone and was invited to
"come on out to Vegas" to check out the new
films and actually meet all the ladies I
have been watching and lusting for at work.
Cool! I get in my car and barely make it to
Nevada. I find a room, (which isn't hard in
those days during the convention being that
is wasn't the monolith it is now) and head
on over to the Sahara Convention Center
(where the adult section was for many years
to come). I have no knowledge that I need a
pass to go into the convention and it was in
the days that it was TRADE INDUSTRY ONLY.
What's that mean? I just drove over 300
miles and want to see porn chicks! A
security guard asks me to leave. "Nooooooo!!!"
my mind screams. "I can't have come all this
way and now be turned away. Think Dave
Think!!!"
"I was invited!" I yell as I'm being
dragged away.
"By who?" the guard says looking at me
like all the other liars standing outside
the hall.
I just barely remember my contact name at
General Video of America and the guard calls
into the hall to ask if they know me.
Of course he doesn't. If takes a few
minutes, as I stand sweating in front a big
brute of a dimwitted security guard. The
voice on the phone acknowledges me, "Dave!
Hey, you made it. I'll be out to give you a
pass."
No fucking way!!! I did it and I'm going
in. I had met maybe three porn stars in my
life. Christy Canyon, Mai Lin and my
favorite,
, all at a local strip
club in Ontario, California. But this is the
Mecca of Porn I was about to see and many
have never gotten this far. Remember, this
was industry only and VERY strict at the
time.
I meet my contact and enter the hall. Not
NEARLY as big as it is now, but back then it
was monstrous! Never under one roof were
there so many hot ladies and videos
everywhere! I sit down with my contact. We
chat and then he wants to know what titles I
want to order for the video store. Shit! I
have to order stuff. I forgot to even ask my
work if I could do that. I just headed on
out to the desert.
"Sure, I'll take this one and this one
and this one..." I say. I remember them
being all VCA titles and figured, my store
would want these hot new EXPENSIVE $60
TITLES when I return. Yeah, $60! Those were
the days when the industry was making bank!
When I get back to the office on Monday, I
learn that my boss ISN'T happy I went on a
porno-shopping spree. I don't care, I came
to see pussy!
After ordering, I grab my shitty yet
trusty Polaroid camera and meet some
starlets. I can go on and on and do a whole
story on that day. Angela Baron, Nina
Hartley, Janette Littledove, Jamie Summers,
Jeanna Fine, Tracy Adams, Brittany Morgan,
Bionca, Barbii, Samantha Strong, a newcomer
named Keisha, and of course my girl, Ginger
Lynn. I race over to her line. She looks at
me and FUCKING REMEMBERS me! We had talked
for like an hour at a strip club a few
months back and unbeknownst to me, was to be
my first porn interview.
I also meet one of the sexiest women I
have ever seen. I hadn't seen her work but I
had to meet her. The following snippet into
my life goes does as one of those lost
moments one experience and can never get
back. I look back even to this day,
wondering, "What if."
PornoDave: "You are so cute!"
Mystery Girl: "Thanks, you too."
PornoDave: "Right."
Mystery Girl: "No really. There's a
party tonight, an awards show for the
industry. Would you hang out with me at my
table tonight."
PornoDave: "Maybe some other time. I
have to meet a buddy later. " (Please
note: If a gorgeous girl asks you to hang
out with her and doesn't ask you for
money...YOU FUCKING GO OUT WITH HER!!! Fuck
your buddies!)
Mystery Girl: "Ok then".
(Looking surprised and annoyed)
That girl was the legendary Angel Kelly,
who was in her early part of her career and
looked so awesome; my eyes are tearing up as
I write this. That was the gayest thing I
have ever done. And the sad part is, I've
done it a couple of more times since then.
You'd think I'd learn.
I see a kid walking around the
convention. Shit! This place is going to get
busted with him around. It's turns out to be
child star actor, Scotty Schwartz (The Toy)
and years later I become friends with him.
He was actually about my age and shouldn't
have been there either, but when you are a
celeb, you pretty much have free reign.
I get a ton of photos and slicks signed
by the starlets. I over hear
. I was so stocked since I was
a big fan of her layout. Years later I will
have been involved with interviewing Teri
many times as she rises through the ranks as
porn performer.
I continue through the years to attend
the convention because later it becomes free
yet open to trade only...but that never
stopped anyone. I make up some business
cards and now I'm a porn reporter. It wasn't
till a couple of years later; I actually
BECAME a porn reporter. And that kind of
brings us up to date into my rise into the
ranks of smut...
FADE IN: Las Vegas Strip - Evening.
"Crowded smoke filled casino, two men
run past card tables as is being pursued.
Voices in background yell, "Blackjack!
They exit building into the hot Vegas
night air."
8:25pm
I find my fellow reporter John Douglas,
and after ditching one of our vehicles, we
head on out to Gameworks restaurant next to
the MGM Grand Hotel. The event has started,
but not by much. Remember, we are working on
porno people time, and everything starts at
LEAST an hour late. But wouldn't you fucking
guess it. It actually started on time. As
almost all the events we come to see later
on in the week.
Gameworks is hosting a charity fundraiser
auction for AIM (Adult Industry Medical) the
organization that tests the performers and
keeps tabs on who fucks who in the industry.
If an outbreak of some crotch itches
happens, they can get the word out to "bring
it down a notch" and get people some
medication and whatnot. It's been a pretty
good system so far.
On stage auctioning off articles of
clothing from the performers, autographed
items and chances to take off the articles
of clothing right of the girl's body! Hey,
this reminds of when adult crusader,
who is performing at Wild J's
strip club behind Circus Circus.
DISSOLVE TO: Parking lot of Wild J's.
- Late evening - Cashier's window of
nightclub
Cashier: "It's $20 to enter!"
John: "We are on the guest list."
Cashier: "No guest list here."
Dave: "But we work with Mimi."
Cashier: "You guys do pornos?"
And the game begins...
10:38pm
Wild J's strip club is a staple in Las
Vegas. One of the local clubs that always
has a porn star appearing and dancing for
the fans. It is now has new owners. After
getting into the club, we meet the owner who
is a sexy woman who is friends with
tonight’s features. Our good buddy Mimi
Miyagi and her SUPER big-breasted friend,
. They both used to do film and
work for Leisure Time Entertainment in the
day.
We head upstairs to find a very large
photo/video studio. Multiple sets and
costumes for Lisa Lipps. She not only works
at the club, dancing as a feature 4 times a
month, but also uses the upstairs as her
production studio. It's very cool, and I
can't believe I'm standing in front of two
hot naked girls! We have some drinks, and
shoot the shit.
We stay for Mimi's set and as we wait, we
run into a guy in the club who can't stop
talking about the girls...
Dude: "I noticed you came downstairs
with Mimi Miyagi."
John: "She's a friend"
Dude: "You know porn chicks?"
John: "Know then, we directed some of
her films."
Dude: "Oh my God! You here for the
porno convention?"
Dave: "Yeah, going to hang out and
interview some of the performers tomorrow."
Dude: "I drove all the way out from
Utah for the CES show and decided to go to a
strip club tonight. I would give anything to
hang out with you guys at the Adult Expo."
John: "Your Mormon and you are in a
strip club and now you want to go to the
porno convention. You don't see a conflict
of interest here."
Dude: "Dude!"
The poor guy has a coronary when the best
looking girl in the club comes over to me
and starts talking and when we are finished
has my card and wants to come to LA to shoot
scenes for me.
Dude: "Did that girl just say she
wants to work with you? I ... I ..."
Another pervert speechless.
FADE OUT: Hotel Room
It's 4:33am Friday. I'm fucking tired.
FADE IN: Hotel Room
It's 8:30am Friday. Fuck! It's time to
get up already!!!
CUT TO: Sands Convention & Expo Hall -
Day
"Characters enter hall and make their
way to the main convention entrance. A line
of fans already wait patiently for their
entry a few hours later. The hall is lined
with adult film company booths with starlets
manning their autograph stations."
It's 10:00am Friday - And the proverbial
start gun goes off.
We make our way to the
She interviews the wackier part of the
convention, the wild adult store products.
First up, she becomes a 3-D video model for
a new product. It a very cool effect for the
peep shows in adult stores. You see the
video and or performer in 3-D. A
technological advancement to jacking off.
Cool!
Mimi then scares the Be Jesus out of the
creator of the "Tongue Joy", the world's
only oral vibrator. It attaches to either
your dick or tongue to stimulate your
partner. She grabs the inventor's hand that
is holding the device and starts working
herself into a frenzy. The guy just finished
telling us how he designed it for pleasuring
his wife and now is getting Mimi's rocks off
in front of us.
We meet friends all day and have a blast.
Things I notice that remind me that we have
come back tomorrow to see...
- Best Booth:
(After the show, I accepted Jesus as my
personal lord and savior. Amen)
We head on out to get a jump on covering
the Legends of Erotica show at Showgirls
Video on the strip. The show is put on by
Arrow Productions and has been done by store
and company owner, Ray Pistol, for years.
The are putting the following, their hands
and signatures, into cement for all to see.
Selena Steele, Angela Summers, Eric Edwards,
Ed Powers, Lee Carroll & the late Linda
Lovelace. They also are giving the Carnal
Medal of Honor to PAW patriarch, Phil
Berman. He really deserves it.
It's 6:08pm and the show starts at 8pm.
Just enough time for dinner...
CUT TO: Casino Bathroom - Night
It's now 10:23pm and once you have a
really bad buffet in Vegas you will always
remember it. Totally missed the show and
have been attending the service at the
porcelain alter. Going to have to call this
one an early night. Have to feel better if
we are to last on our feet all day tomorrow.
FADE OUT
10:55am Saturday
FADE IN: Sands Expo Convention Hall -
Day
"Characters enter huge parking
structure, 3 blocks away. Carry heavy
equipment for half a mile."
OK, so we survive the night from the
buffet from hell. Time to get some good
interviews with the performers and also find
out what parties are happening after the AVN
Awards Show...and map out where the closest
bathroom is...
Meet up with PR guru and talent for his
very popular Internet show,
still has some of the best.
India, Lacey Duvalle, Fujiko, Felicia &
Inari Vachs. They are always worth visiting
and are very fan friendly. Their booth is
easy for the fans to meet the ladies.
My personal fav was at Red Light
District's booth. Company producer, Vince
Voyeur got Monica Sweetheart to sign and she
had a huge line for her, She is so hot
looking and so very nasty in her films. She
looked even better in person.
Another favorite of mine was Adriana Sage
who was signing at Andrew Blake's booth.
That is a totally different route for her.
She is known for her nasty anal that she
does for Pierre Woodman films and Vince
Voyeur and now she is doing the soft pretty
girl stuff. I am actually looking forward to
seeing this new side to her.
KBeech had my Best Female Performer of
the Year 2002 Critic award winner. It was
the awesome Nina Ferrari. She was doing some
sexy dancing on top of the company's booth
and was 100 times better than the naked
chicks I see often at strip clubs...and she
was totally clothed!!!
We head on over to
